Advice On Attachment Parenting

September 19, 2008

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what to do when you feel frustrated, angry or stressed out in your role as a parent, then you’re not alone. As much as parenting can be a joy, it can also be a real chore. Let me introduce Attachment Parenting. Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.

Many new parents have a sense of guilt whenever they start to feel negative emotions around their child. However, the idealized image of the ‘perfect parent’ is simply that: an impossible stereotype no human can live up to.

It should go without saying that you should consult a doctor and/or counselor if you think you are having more serious issues that could cause you to act out harmfully against yourself or your child. Physical and emotional abuse are never o.k.

So, if you find yourself worrying whether it is normal to feel frustrated, the answer is “yes!”  If you find yourself loving, but not always liking your child, rest assured that is normal, too. Losing your temper or your patience does not mean you are bad parent or a bad person. It simply means you’ve been pushed too hard for too long without a break.

This is especially true if there are problems in your life with finances, health, relationships and so on. Getting these other problems resolved will go a long way to reducing your stress levels.

Beyond that, you must learn to schedule time for yourself. If you have a partner, ask him or her to watch the children while you go visit friends. Likewise, call on trusted friends and or relatives. See if you can arrange regularly scheduled times when you’ll get a break while someone else provides child care.

If you simply can’t get away, try to create a fun distraction that can include your child. Go for a walk or go swimming or go for ice cream. Fresh air, exercise or a little self-indulgence can help you relax and re-energize.

So What Is Attachment Parenting?

Attachment parenting is a parenting style, or philosophy, based on what is known in the field of developmental psychology as “attachment theory”.  Attachment theory describes three potential types of emotional bond between parent and child: secure, ambivalent and avoidant.

Attachment parenting, then, is about working towards creating a secure emotional bond between parent and child by practicing certain parenting techniques believed to lead to this sense of security.

The eight principles of attachment parenting, as laid out by Dr. William Sears, are as follows:
1.    Preparation for pregnancy, birth and parenting.
2.    Feed with love and respect.
3.    Respond with sensitivity.
4.    Use nurturing touch.
5.    Engage in nighttime parenting.
6.    Provide consistent, loving care.
7.    Practice positive discipline.
8.    Strive for balance in personal and family life.

Behind these principles is the notion that one can never give their child too much attention. Parents should be generous in providing loving touch and words of support. Corporal punishment is to be avoided, and verbal discipline should be rendered in a firm but loving tone.

So What Is Attachment Parenting?

Attachment parenting is a parenting style, or philosophy, based on what is known in the field of developmental psychology as “attachment theory”.  Attachment theory describes three potential types of emotional bond between parent and child: secure, ambivalent and avoidant.

Attachment parenting, then, is about working towards creating a secure emotional bond between parent and child by practicing certain parenting techniques believed to lead to this sense of security.

The eight principles of attachment parenting, as laid out by Dr. William Sears, are as follows:
1.    Preparation for pregnancy, birth and parenting.
2.    Feed with love and respect.
3.    Respond with sensitivity.
4.    Use nurturing touch.
5.    Engage in nighttime parenting.
6.    Provide consistent, loving care.
7.    Practice positive discipline.
8.    Strive for balance in personal and family life.

Behind these principles is the notion that one can never give their child too much attention. Parents should be generous in providing loving touch and words of support. Corporal punishment is to be avoided, and verbal discipline should be rendered in a firm but loving tone.

Critics of attachment parenting claim that this level of ‘coddling’ is not necessary and the approach may backfire if the parent crosses the line from ’sensitive’ to ‘overly permissive’.

Children do need you to be an “authoritative” figure in their lives. Note the emphasis on the word ‘authoritative’, not ‘authoritarian’. Good parenting is a balancing act. We must constantly walk a line of being neither too harsh nor too easy on our children. This means making rules and boundaries that are both clear and fair.

The basic principles of attachment parenting do provide a good guidepost to the kind of relationship to strive towards with your child. Patience, consistency and loving support are all components of good parenting skills!

More Tips On Good Effective Parenting Skills

June 10, 2008

parenting skillsParenting is all about having good parenting skills and learning good parenting techniques. Without parenting skills, the duties of the average parent are reduced to simply struggling around with great difficulty. Of course, the realistic point of view of parenting is that most parents enter their new role without a clue as to how to achieve their goals and are quickly looking for help.

So where does a parent go to learn good parenting skills? When all hope is lost, many parents find that they actually turn to their own parents for advice. Most parents end up parenting their children in ways similar to how they were raised. While this aspect is often a sworn denial among teenage years, sung somewhat to the tune of “I will never be like you”, the reality of parenting often finds a different song of desperation is being sung in subsequent years.

When people are too proud to go to their parents for parenting advice, however, they often turn to other measures. Parenting teenagers is typically one of the aspects of parenting that often drives people to drink, for one. Whether or not hitting the bottle is considered a significant or “good” parenting skill is still up for debate, but parenting teenagers has been known to drive parents to some pretty unfortunate ends.

Through desperation, many parents find themselves at the end of their ropes. Parenting skills can help that desperate process see the light of day, thankfully. While a parent may feel out of answers and out of energy, there are many ways to find good parenting advice from friends or relatives. Simply asking for help is often good enough, but it can involve a good deal of humility, especially if one is asking their own parents for parenting advice.

Parenting skills often can be found by taking a parenting course. Often dubbed as the “land of the lost”, parenting counseling is actually a very popular course among parents of teenagers. With the reality of parenting a teen heavy on the hearts of most of the parents at the parenting course, there is room to grieve and probably share a stiff drink later in the evening. In all seriousness, this network of support is often very helpful to achieving the ultimate goal of learning parenting skills that will help in the raising of a well-adjusted teenager.

With a certificate of success from a parenting course in one hand and the phone numbers of other parents of teens in the other, the drive home to teenage children may finally be a walk that some parents feel they can take with more confidence. Of course, teenage parenting is known for various curve balls and unexpected situations, but with some parenting skills and with a network of support from other parents of teens, it is possible to learn to deal with these situations with a greater sense of control.

Coping with situations involving teen children can be one of the toughest responsibilities of parents. Without parenting skills, these challenges can escalate into an impossible situation, especially as the teen gets older and “smarter”. In any event, learning good parenting skills as early as possible can help take some of the edge off of the unenviable task of parenting a teenage child.

Guide To Parenting Plan Information

June 9, 2008

parenting plan informationParenting is complicated enough without having a solid parenting plan. A good plan can guide you through some of the potential pitfalls of parenting, but without one, your parenting skills may be put to the test more often than not. As long as you can come up with a comprehensive parenting plan to help raise your family, you can rest a little bit easier when it comes to raising your children and managing your household.

Natural parenting is one styles of parenting that is often supported by a parenting plan. Natural parenting is based upon the parenting plan that essentially references no concrete plan. That is to say that the plan involved with natural parenting defers parenting to its most instinctual basis and offers parenting as per the needs in the child-to-parent relationship. Natural parenting is said to be beneficial to the child in that it puts the parent in direct tune with the needs of the child and enables the child to learn to “speak for itself” in terms of what it needs.

Some people use a more family-integrated parenting plan. This plan, as the name implies, integrates family parenting into the equation and adds all of the extended family to the mix to form an entire crowd of supporters. While this may make the child feel overwhelmed at times, it is typically a good idea to surround the child with as much family support as possible.

Attachment parenting is a parenting plan that many mothers integrate immediately after birth. This is a type of parenting plan that invokes the notion of not leaving the physical proximity of the infant and enabling for an attachment bond to be formed. There are many medical aspects that both support this style of parenting and condemn it. The supportive aspect is that it introduces the child to parental love and companionship on a consistent basis. The negative aspect of attachment parenting can be, of course, that the attachment may be pushed too far into the child’s lifetime and the attachment may never be broken regardless of the age of the child.

Choosing a parenting plan is important because it must reflect the type of child that is present in your life. There is no absolute in terms of a parenting plans; you may find that you select a variance of each type of parenting plan in order to create your own basis for a path on which to raise your family. Regardless of the course of action you choose, the best thing you can do for your family is raise them in a loving and compassionate home with ample room for growth and challenges.

Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. Too often, however, parenting is a job that many people overlook. With a good parenting plan, parents can remain abreast of their situations and aspire to be the best parents they can be. They can improve on mistakes and make better decisions with more education. A good parenting plan is integral to getting this education, as it helps to set the standard for the remainder of the parenting experience.

Effective Parenting Skills

June 8, 2008

effective parentingPeople are constantly looking for help and strategies for effective parenting skills. They always strive to be the best possible parent they can be and often feel that they come up short in terms of their own parenting skills. Regardless, the search for better ways of effective parenting is a lifelong search for many parents. The notion of living up to expectations as a parent is often very near to the heart of many parents, creating a fear over parenting that often leads to insecurity and a lack of confidence in personal parenting skills.

Many people, when looking for strategies for effective parenting skills, turn to a parenting book. There are a number of options available on the market for these books, many of them from bestselling authors with loads of parenting experience. A parenting book can be a great way to shed some light on some of the deeper mysteries of parenting without sacrificing too much by way of cash or time for the cause. Most parenting books are approved by parents all around the world for teaching tips for effective parenting to parents of all shapes and sizes.

Many people ask their friends or family for parenting advice. This happens because of the level of trust people have in their families. People also seek out familiar parenting advice from family members because they have likely seen that advice in action and have witnessed the results. People with “good parents” often ask their parents for parenting advice, too.

In any form, parenting help can be a great thing. There are many different ways to seek out parenting help, from family or friends and even therapy or psychological help with parenting skills. Many parents refuse to seek out parenting help because they do not feel they “need it” and they feel that they would rather struggle through parenting on their own. The best way to parent is through a network of support that will enable family to bind together and lean on one another. With that kind of support, parenting help can make all the difference in the world.

All in all, getting good parenting help is the gateway to effective parenting. Without assistance and advice, many parents simply go it alone and wander aimlessly through the struggle of parenting. Often times, it can be a shock to the system to acknowledge the need for help. Parenting should not be about ego or lack of humility; it should be about raising the child with the best information possible. In this aspect, using all of the resources possible, from parenting books to general parenting advice, is the best option to practice effective parenting techniques.

Essentially, it takes a village to raise a child. Effective parenting skills will inevitably reflect this notion, as more people start learning to create solid networks of support for their kids. In this respect, society benefits from people helping one another. This notion helps society grow and, as it would appear, leads to effective parenting skills from one generation to the next.