The 7 Biggest Discipline Mistakes

So you’re trying to make your child quit bullying—or lying or cheating or defying you or “taking back”—and you’re having little success. You’ve tried threatening, scolding and even begging, but nothing seems to work. Frankly, you’re at your wit’s end. How can you ensure that your child stops his bad behavior for good? The first thing you must do is re-think your approach to discipline.

Behavior is learned, so it can be unlearned. Parents need a specific makeover plan designed to half their kids’ bad behavior. But before you can implement such a plan, you must first understand what you’re doing wrong—and why it’s wrong.

Common discipline mistakes:

1. Thinking “It’s just a phase.”

Bad behaviors don’t go away. They almost always need parental intervention. The longer parents wait, the more likely the behavior will become a habit. So don’t call it a phase: stop the bad behavior as soon as it starts.

2. Being a poor behavior model.

Our behavior has an enormous influence on our kids’ behavior. After all, what they see is what they copy. So before parents start planning to change their kid’s behavior, they need to take a serious look at their own.

3. Not targeting the bad behavior.

It’s best to work on improving only one—and never more than two—behaviors at a time. And the more specific the plan the better. Don’t say, “He’s not behaving.” Instead, narrow the focus to target the specific behavior you want to eliminate: “He’s talking back.” And makeover will be more successful.

4. No plan to stop the bad behavior.

Once parents have identified the bad behavior, they need a solid makeover plan to stop it. The plan must (1) address the kid’s bad behavior, (2) state exactly how to correct it, (3) identify the new behavior to replace it, and (4) have a set consequence if the bad behavior continues.

5. Not teaching a substitute behavior.

No behavior will change permanently unless the child is taught a new behavior to replace it. Think about it: if you tell a kid to stop doing one behavior, what will he do instead? Without a substitute behavior, chances are the child will revert to using the old misbehavior.

6. Going alone. Big mistake!

After all if your kid is using the bad behavior on other caregivers—be it spouse, grandparents, teachers, day care providers, coaches, scout leaders, babysitters—then use the same makeover plan together. The more you work together, the quicker you’ll be in stopping the problem behavior.

7. Not sticking to the plan long enough.

Learning new behavior habits generally takes a minimum of twenty–one days of repetition. Parents need to commit to changing the bad behavior and then continue using the plan for at least three weeks. Only then will they see change.

About Michele Borba

Michele Borba, Ed.D., is an internationally renowned educator and award-winning author who is recognized for her practical, solution-based strategies to strengthen child’s behavior, self-esteem, character, and social development, and to build strong families. A sought-after motivational speaker, she has presented workshops and keynote addresses throughout North American, Europe, Asia and the South Pacific and has served as an educational consultant to hundreds of schools, and organizations. Her proposal: “Ending School Violence and Student Bullying” (SB1667) was signed into California law in 2002. She offers realistic, research-based advice culled from a career of working with over one million parents and educators.

As a recognized expert on child development, violence prevention, and character development, Dr. Borba appears regularly as a guest expert on countless TV and radio talk shows to discuss late breaking news and the every day challenges parents face today. Appearances include the “Today” “The View,” “Fox & Friends,” “Countdown, MSNBC,” “The Early Show,” “Canada AM,” “NPR: Talk of the Nation,” “Ronn Owens/KGO Radio,” and “Focus on the Family.” She has been interviewed by numerous publications including Newsweek, U.S. News & World Report, Reader’s Digest, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, Better Homes & Garden, Parenting, and Child. Her article publications have appeared in Redbook, Parents, and Family Circle. She serves on Parents magazine’s honorary advisory board and an expert to ClubMom.

Check out Dr. Michele Borba

Book Reviews | The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding was the first book written especially for mothers. Over the years, more than two million mothers have turned to it for information and inspiration. All parents want the best for their babies, and there’s no doubt about the fact that human milk is the ideal food for human babies. What’s the secret of successful breastfeeding? For almost fifty years mothers who have been in touch with La Leche League have found the kind of information and support they needed to breastfeed their babies.

In this newly revised edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, you will learn:

• How human milk offers lifetime benefits for your baby
• How to prepare for breastfeeding during pregnancy
• How to exercise and lose weight safely while nursing
• How to find time for yourself while meeting baby’s needs
• How to increase your milk supply by using herbs and medications
• How to be sure your baby is getting enough to eat

Take a look Contents of this book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and peek view of Chapter One.

Table of Contents
Foreword    xi
Introduction    xiii
Part 1    Planning to Breastfeed    1

Chapter 1    Why Choose Breastfeeding?    3

A Special Journey
Best for Baby–Best for You
The Key to Good Mothering

Chapter 2    Plans are Underway    17

Plans for the Baby’s Birth
Health Professionals Who Care
Preparing to Breastfeed
What to Wear–Nursing Fashions

Chapter 3    Your Network of Support    33

La Leche League Meetings
Why Do You Need Support?
How Do I Find La Leche League?

Part 2    The Early Months    43

Chapter 4    Your Baby Arrives    45

Baby’s First Feeding
Breastfeeding in Slow Motion
Other Breastfeeding Positions
Engorgement–When the Milk “Comes In”
How Long to Nurse?
Hospital Routines
Breastfeeding Products
Leaving the Hospital

Chapter 5    At Home With Your Baby    67

Babies Are to Love
How Many Times Do I Feed the Baby?
Is Baby Getting Enough?
Caring for Your Baby
Taking Care of Mother
Going Out? Take Baby Along

Chapter 6    A Time to Learn    91

Why Is My Baby Crying?
Babies Who Are Colicky
Growth Spurts
Nighttime Needs
Sharing Sleep
Babies, Beds, and Sex

Chapter 7    Common Concerns    109

Avoiding and Treating Sore Nipples
Moist Wound Healing
Sore Nipples in Later Months
Pumping and Storing Your Milk
Breast Problems: Sore Breasts, Plugged Ducts, and Mastitis
Breast Lumps and Breast Surgery
Is Your Baby Getting Enough Milk?
The Baby Who Is Pleasingly Plump
Did You Ever Hear of a Nursing Strike?

Part 3    Going Back to Work    147

Chapter 8    Breastfeeding and Working    149

Benefits of Breastfeeding
Proceed Slowly
Some Practical Hints
Feeding Tips for the Sitter
Establish a Routine
Who Will Take Care of the Baby?

Chapter 9    Making a Choice    167

The Mother-Child Relationship
Take One Step at a Time
Choosing to Stay Home

Part 4    Life As a Family    181

Chapter 10    The Manly Art of Fathering    183

Fathers Get Involved
Fathers and Breastfeeding
What Can Fathers Do?
Husband and Wife–A Parenting Team

Chapter 11    Meeting Family Needs    193

Housework and a New Baby
Time for the Other Little Ones
Developing a Parenting Style    193

Chapter 12    Nutritional Know-How    205

The Basic Approach
How to Eat Well
Special Hints for Nursing Mothers
Weight Loss and Exercise

Part 5    As Your Baby Grows    221

Chapter 13    Ready for Solids    223

Go Slowly at First
What Foods to Choose

Chapter 14    Weaning Gradually, With Love    233

More Than Milk
What If I Want to Wean My Baby?
Toddler Nursing
Pregnant and Nursing?
Tandem Nursing

Chapter 15    Discipline is Loving Guidance    255

Setting the Stage
Discipline and Punishment
Normal Toddler Traits
A Look Ahead

Part 6    Special Situations    269

Chapter 16    Problems at the Beginning    271

Breastfeeding after a Cesarean Birth
What If Your Baby Is Jaundiced?
Hypoglycemia in Newborns
If Your Baby Is Premature
A Baby with Special Needs
The Baby with Down Syndrome
A Baby with a Cleft Lip or Palate
Cystic Fibrosis and Other Metabolic Conditions
When a Baby Dies

Chapter 17    When Extra Care is Needed    295

Multiple Births–Multiple Blessings
Relactation and Induced Lactation
If Your Baby Gets Sick
Slow Weight Gain
What If Mother Is Ill?
Medications and Other Substances
Mothers with Special Problems

Part 7    Why Breast is Best    337

Chapter 18    Human Milk for Human Babies    339

How Your Baby Grows
Unique Milk for a Unique Species
Human Milk: An Arsenal Against Illness
Nature’s Vaccine for the Newborn
Avoiding Allergies
More Reasons to Breastfeed

Chapter 19    How Breastfeeding Affects A Mother    371

How the Breast Gives Milk
Guaranteed High-Quality Milk
Breastfeeding and Your Reproductive Cycle

Part 8    Mothers Helping Mothers    389

Chapter 20    About La Leche League    391

How It All Began
How LLL Can Help You
About This Book and Its Authors
La Leche League’s Influence
A Final Word–From the Founders

    Appendix    411

Books That We Publish
Other Helpful Books
Breast Pumps and Other Products
Organizations That Offer Support
Web Sites That Are Helpful
Marmet Technique of Manual Expression
Selected References
Photo Credits
Index    455

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: Seventh Revised Edition (La Leche League International Book)

Chapter One

Book Reviews | Positive Discipline For Preschoolers

Raising young children is one of the most challenging tasks an adult will ever face. No matter how much you love your child, there will be inevitably causes a good deal of frustration, anger, and even desperation. You will be puzzled why does my four-year-old deliberately lie to me? Why won’t my three-year-old listen to me? Should I ever spank my child when he/she is disobedient? Parents thus overwhelmed and lose confidence and optimism to persevere in the challenge. Hence, this Positive Discipline For Preschoolers guide book over the years have come to trust that there is still hope for a better approach to better care for preschoolers. To influence them to become responsible, respectful and resourceful beings.You’ll find practical solutions from this book:

- Addressing issues with mastering sleeping, eating, and potty training.
- See misbehavior as an opportunity to teach non punitive discipline—not punishment.
- Instill valuable social skills and positive behavior inside and outside the home, parents will be taught how to use kind but firm methods that teach important life skills to raise your child.
- You will find some handy tips for application in the classroom to tackle behavioral challenges
- And much, much more!

Now completely updated to report the latest research in child development and learning, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers will teach you how to use methods to raise a child who is responsible, respectful, and resourceful. Preschoolers are never too young to learn desirable behavior and as parents you need to have a positive mindset and pick up tips from this book to help them to achieve that. The techniques the book outlines are useful for children of any age, start at the younger age the better.

This revised and updated third edition includes information from the latest research on neurobiology, diet and exercise, gender differences and behavior, the importance of early relationships and parenting, and new approaches to parenting in the age of mass media. Get Positive Discipline for Preschoolers: For Their Early Years–Raising Children Who are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful (Positive Discipline Library. Author Jane Ed.D. Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin, Roslyn Ann Duffy.