Parenting Tips for New Parents

As a first-time parent, you probably have a lot of questions. How should you treat your newborn? What are the proper steps to take in feeding your baby and putting him to bed? First, remember that there are developmental milestones to take into consideration at each stage of your child’s life. The following parenting tips are intended for new mothers and fathers who have a baby 2 weeks of age or less.

Parenting Tips for New Parents

BEHAVIOR AND DEVELOPMENT

Your infant’s development depends heavily on interaction with you. You should spend as much time as you can holding, cuddling and talk to your baby. This facilitates bonding, learning and general neural development. Touch is very important. To save your own sanity, you should also nurture baby during the times when he or she is not hungry or sleepy or fussy. Make sure, too, to take some time for yourself. Schedule in naps for yourself during baby’s nap time if you can, and call upon trusted friends or family members to help baby sit so you that you can have ‘adult time’ at least once a week.

Some of the behavioral milestones to look for in infants at this age are:
1.    The first smile
2.    Beginning to recognize family voices.
3.    Begins to make small vocalizations
4.    Will briefly lift head when lying on stomach.

FEEDING

Babies at this age need only breast milk or iron-fortified formula. Always check with your physician before making any changes to your baby’s diet. Your infant’s eating habits will vary from day to day, but you should call your family doctor if your baby is losing weight or not eating at all. Feeding time should be a time of bonding for the whole family. This is where some of the closest bonding time occurs. Give your baby plenty of affection and touching during feeding time.

SLEEP

Babies should be put to sleep on their backs. Your baby will tend to sleep through the day, but it is normal for a baby to awake in the late afternoon and have a ‘fussy’ spell. This is another good time to nurture and soothe your baby. However, prepare yourself, too, for the possibility that your baby may be inconsolable. Sometimes the excess stimulus of the day simply needs to be ‘cried out’. Overall, it is best to hold and rock your baby until he is drowsy, then put him in his crib. Avoid rocking your baby to sleep, as this will train him not to go to sleep on his own.

These parenting tips are not difficult to remember. Try to view each parenting tips again and again and apply them as it will help you. If you continue to experience problems, discuss your concerns with others parents.

Bad Parenting | Matter of Perspective

For many of us, the fear that we will somehow end up being a bad parenting begins to creep into our heads long before we have children. For others it hits us when we leave the hospital, a little puzzled that medical professionals just allowed us to leave with a tiny little human and no guidebook.  So, how does a caring parent deal with those fears? How does one avoid bad parenting?

To begin with you must rid yourself of the ridiculous notion that you can be the “Perfect Parent”. It isn’t going to happen. You’re human and you are going to make a bad call, lose your cool, make a bad judgment, etc. Now that you know it’s inevitable, start figuring out a plan of action on how you will respond to your child, yourself and any third party that might be involved when it happens. If you have an idea of how to maneuver though the prickly maze of pride-swallowing fault admittance, you’ll find that crow a little easier to eat in the future.

As an added bonus, you model for your child the truth of life that ALL people mess up and that the important thing is to learn from your mistakes. Now that we know you can’t be a perfect parent, what’s next? You try as hard as you can to be as close to a perfect parent as possible. The internet age makes it relatively easy to search and find other parents or professionals who have advice on how to deal with almost any situation that could arise. Use those resources and many others. Talk to parents, family, doctors, educators, or social workers. Gather as much information as you can, and educate yourself about the stages of development for children. Learn about learning and discipline styles. Try things out, Research Discuss. Ask for help. Then, sift through all that information and find what works for your family dynamic and personality style. A little information on the general development of a child will provide you with a treasure-trove of information that will soothe your concerns.

It’s a learning process for everyone but keep in mind that the more you learn the better prepared you are to deal with any situation. Like any great  responsibility, it helps to be educated about it to avoid making common errors. Finally, be consistent. Set clear and specific boundaries and expectations and then encourage and enforce them. Remember that, regardless of the age of your child, they have been on this planet a very short time compared to you and are trying to figure out how the world works. If you keep changing the rules on them it sets them up for failure and makes your job all the harder. So monitor yourself and don’t fall into a image of been a bad parenting.

The Perils of Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting sometimes referred to as “laissez-faire” parenting, is a parenting style characterized by relatively low expectations of child behavior, performance and achievement. Permissive parents tend to have few hard and fast rules, and the rules they do impose are often subject to manipulation by the child. At the core of the permissive parent’s style, we find the incorrect belief that one must be ‘liked’ by one’s children. The permissive parent wants to be the ‘friend’ and the ‘buddy’ in the hope that his or her child will be more likely to open up about problems and needs.

Example of Permissive parenting

For example, imagine that your teenager comes to you and says: “I’m going over to Sarah’s house. I might spend the night or I might not. I’ll try to be back before  2:00 a.m.” The typical permissive parent’s response to this would be something along the lines of: “O.K., but make sure you call to let me know when you get there, and call again to let me know if you’re spending the night or not.” Any number of unfortunate things could arise out of this situation. The child goes to her friend’s place, or maybe she doesn’t. She “forgets” to call and her parents are up all night worried about her whereabouts.

Of course, if she returns home safely, the permissive parents will make a show of his or her worry but quickly put the incident behind them. What the child ultimately learns from this is that her parents don’t truly care what she does, where she does it or who she does it with. Worse, she learns that she doesn’t truly have to be accountable to anyone.

It should be obvious why this permissive parenting approach is a very bad idea. The problem is that you cannot be both a friend, in the usual sense, and the parent in your child’s life at the same time. Good parenting dictates that you must at times make unpopular decisions and be the ‘bad guy’ enforcing the rules. You must show your child that your expectations of his or her behavior are consistent and high. This is the only way to earn his or her trust and respect in you as an authority figure. As much as your child may protest otherwise, he really does need a solid authority figure to turn to in his life.

If you somehow realize your style of parenting is permissive parenting. There is still time to make a change.

Authoritative Style of Parenting

The reason why authoritative style of parenting (one types of parenting styles) is more likely to be successful than the other style because parents who apply the authoritative style set rules and limits, but explaining why they are necessary. Parents making rules with taking account of their children’s point of view. They communicate well and regularly with their children and encourage them to be independent.

Four Different Parenting Styles

From the expect point of view they have identify four different types of parenting styles. These styles are known as “authoritarian”, “authoritative”, “permissive” and “neglectful.” There are important differences between each of these styles, and there is one style considered ideal above all the others. We’ll review each one individually now so you will be able to understand which type of parenting styles is best for you and your child.

Authoritarian Style of Parenting

The authoritarian style of parenting is the ‘old, stereotypical style best described in phrases like “children should be seen and not heard” and “spare the rod, spoil the child.” Authoritarian parents expect a high degree of conformity and compliance from their children, and are more likely to use corporal punishment as discipline.
The problem with authoritarian parenting is that the ‘rules’ often change at the parent’s whim, so the child never truly know what is expected. One could describe the situation as ‘unfair’ and threatening. Many children raised by authoritarian parents live in a constant state of fear. They tend to display less self-confidence and are socially withdrawn.

Permissive Style of Parenting

Permissive parenting is typically characterized by a warm, loving relationship between parent and child, but is flawed by low expectations of behavior. In other words, the permissive parent is usually afraid to make demands on the child much less hold him to any standard.
Children raised by overly permissive parents tend to suffer from a lack of focus, immaturity and problems with emotional regulation.

Neglectful Style of Parenting

Neglectful parenting is best described as a step beyond “permissive” parenting. The neglectful parent may provide food and shelter, but is generally emotionally uninvolved in the child’s life. A good example of this would be parents who never ask their child questions about their day, their friends, homework, etc.. A neglected child may have serious issues going on outside the home, but the neglectful parent is never aware of them until something potentially tragic occurs.

Authoritative style of Parenting

This type of parent holds high expectations of the child’s behavior while allowing an open dialogue with the child about those expectations. Rules imposed on the child are fair and expressed clearly. The authoritative parent teaches the child about cause and effect, decision-making and self-sufficiency. Children raised in an authoritative environment have more self-confidence and initiative, are liked and respected by their peers and will be generally well-rounded adults. Out of the four different types of parenting styles, the authoritative style is considered ideal.

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