Advice On Parenting Teenagers
June 11, 2008
There have been countless sitcoms detailing the lives around parenting teenagers. The comedies keep everyone laughing while the fictional parents go insane by trying to deal with hormonal teens gripped in the throes of another melodramatic situation. It is all fun and games until they turn to the side and realize they have “one of them” sitting right there.
Okay, so maybe it is not as bad as all that. Being the parent of a teenager is a lot different than having an elementary aged child, toddler or an infant. There are a different set of problems that are very age specific that each parent must eventually face. There is no avoiding it; countless parents have wished it could be so. Parenting teenagers and small children all have one basic commonality. Both require a set of rules and limitations. Some parents have a much more relaxed system than others do. The parenting teens must differ on is the actual nature of the rules.
One example of a big difference is that children will not be dealing with issues such as dating and curfews. Laws in most cities have a weekday curfew and a weekend curfew for people beneath the age of eighteen. This is to provide a structure to protect children. It is these guidelines that parents seek to undertake as well. Parenting classes and magazines advise that most teens seek rules even if they do not outwardly show it. Giving them a strict curfew and letting them know what is okay and what is wrong is a way to guide them in choices they must make.
Any parent of a teen can attest that expressing physical affection is a hit and miss situation. Teens want their own autonomy and are easily embarrassed in front of their friends if a parent wants to hug or kiss them. It is nothing personal. It is just a phase and it will pass. The important thing is to let them know that they are loved regardless of their actions.
There is help for parenting teenagers. There are many parents groups on the internet or locally that can help deal with difficult issues. They can be used for simple advice or even for serious issues. There is always hope no matter how dire the situation seems. It requires patience and an open mind to outside help. It may seem difficult and dire but things can get better.
Parenting teenagers is a fine line between leniency and strictness. Teens should be raised to be respectful and know what the rules are. They are also entitled to a loving atmosphere where they can find support and care. It is not about pampering or caving into their demands. After all, they are not adults and do not have the experience to guide them in their decision making skills. That is what a parent is for.
More Tips On Good Effective Parenting Skills
June 10, 2008
Parenting is all about having good parenting skills and learning good parenting techniques. Without parenting skills, the duties of the average parent are reduced to simply struggling around with great difficulty. Of course, the realistic point of view of parenting is that most parents enter their new role without a clue as to how to achieve their goals and are quickly looking for help.
So where does a parent go to learn good parenting skills? When all hope is lost, many parents find that they actually turn to their own parents for advice. Most parents end up parenting their children in ways similar to how they were raised. While this aspect is often a sworn denial among teenage years, sung somewhat to the tune of “I will never be like you”, the reality of parenting often finds a different song of desperation is being sung in subsequent years.
When people are too proud to go to their parents for parenting advice, however, they often turn to other measures. Parenting teenagers is typically one of the aspects of parenting that often drives people to drink, for one. Whether or not hitting the bottle is considered a significant or “good” parenting skill is still up for debate, but parenting teenagers has been known to drive parents to some pretty unfortunate ends.
Through desperation, many parents find themselves at the end of their ropes. Parenting skills can help that desperate process see the light of day, thankfully. While a parent may feel out of answers and out of energy, there are many ways to find good parenting advice from friends or relatives. Simply asking for help is often good enough, but it can involve a good deal of humility, especially if one is asking their own parents for parenting advice.
Parenting skills often can be found by taking a parenting course. Often dubbed as the “land of the lost”, parenting counseling is actually a very popular course among parents of teenagers. With the reality of parenting a teen heavy on the hearts of most of the parents at the parenting course, there is room to grieve and probably share a stiff drink later in the evening. In all seriousness, this network of support is often very helpful to achieving the ultimate goal of learning parenting skills that will help in the raising of a well-adjusted teenager.
With a certificate of success from a parenting course in one hand and the phone numbers of other parents of teens in the other, the drive home to teenage children may finally be a walk that some parents feel they can take with more confidence. Of course, teenage parenting is known for various curve balls and unexpected situations, but with some parenting skills and with a network of support from other parents of teens, it is possible to learn to deal with these situations with a greater sense of control.
Coping with situations involving teen children can be one of the toughest responsibilities of parents. Without parenting skills, these challenges can escalate into an impossible situation, especially as the teen gets older and “smarter”. In any event, learning good parenting skills as early as possible can help take some of the edge off of the unenviable task of parenting a teenage child.
Guide To Parenting Plan Information
June 9, 2008
Parenting is complicated enough without having a solid parenting plan. A good plan can guide you through some of the potential pitfalls of parenting, but without one, your parenting skills may be put to the test more often than not. As long as you can come up with a comprehensive parenting plan to help raise your family, you can rest a little bit easier when it comes to raising your children and managing your household.
Natural parenting is one styles of parenting that is often supported by a parenting plan. Natural parenting is based upon the parenting plan that essentially references no concrete plan. That is to say that the plan involved with natural parenting defers parenting to its most instinctual basis and offers parenting as per the needs in the child-to-parent relationship. Natural parenting is said to be beneficial to the child in that it puts the parent in direct tune with the needs of the child and enables the child to learn to “speak for itself” in terms of what it needs.
Some people use a more family-integrated parenting plan. This plan, as the name implies, integrates family parenting into the equation and adds all of the extended family to the mix to form an entire crowd of supporters. While this may make the child feel overwhelmed at times, it is typically a good idea to surround the child with as much family support as possible.
Attachment parenting is a parenting plan that many mothers integrate immediately after birth. This is a type of parenting plan that invokes the notion of not leaving the physical proximity of the infant and enabling for an attachment bond to be formed. There are many medical aspects that both support this style of parenting and condemn it. The supportive aspect is that it introduces the child to parental love and companionship on a consistent basis. The negative aspect of attachment parenting can be, of course, that the attachment may be pushed too far into the child’s lifetime and the attachment may never be broken regardless of the age of the child.
Choosing a parenting plan is important because it must reflect the type of child that is present in your life. There is no absolute in terms of a parenting plans; you may find that you select a variance of each type of parenting plan in order to create your own basis for a path on which to raise your family. Regardless of the course of action you choose, the best thing you can do for your family is raise them in a loving and compassionate home with ample room for growth and challenges.
Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. Too often, however, parenting is a job that many people overlook. With a good parenting plan, parents can remain abreast of their situations and aspire to be the best parents they can be. They can improve on mistakes and make better decisions with more education. A good parenting plan is integral to getting this education, as it helps to set the standard for the remainder of the parenting experience.
Effective Parenting Skills
June 8, 2008
People are constantly looking for help and strategies for effective parenting skills. They always strive to be the best possible parent they can be and often feel that they come up short in terms of their own parenting skills. Regardless, the search for better ways of effective parenting is a lifelong search for many parents. The notion of living up to expectations as a parent is often very near to the heart of many parents, creating a fear over parenting that often leads to insecurity and a lack of confidence in personal parenting skills.
Many people, when looking for strategies for effective parenting skills, turn to a parenting book. There are a number of options available on the market for these books, many of them from bestselling authors with loads of parenting experience. A parenting book can be a great way to shed some light on some of the deeper mysteries of parenting without sacrificing too much by way of cash or time for the cause. Most parenting books are approved by parents all around the world for teaching tips for effective parenting to parents of all shapes and sizes.
Many people ask their friends or family for parenting advice. This happens because of the level of trust people have in their families. People also seek out familiar parenting advice from family members because they have likely seen that advice in action and have witnessed the results. People with “good parents” often ask their parents for parenting advice, too.
In any form, parenting help can be a great thing. There are many different ways to seek out parenting help, from family or friends and even therapy or psychological help with parenting skills. Many parents refuse to seek out parenting help because they do not feel they “need it” and they feel that they would rather struggle through parenting on their own. The best way to parent is through a network of support that will enable family to bind together and lean on one another. With that kind of support, parenting help can make all the difference in the world.
All in all, getting good parenting help is the gateway to effective parenting. Without assistance and advice, many parents simply go it alone and wander aimlessly through the struggle of parenting. Often times, it can be a shock to the system to acknowledge the need for help. Parenting should not be about ego or lack of humility; it should be about raising the child with the best information possible. In this aspect, using all of the resources possible, from parenting books to general parenting advice, is the best option to practice effective parenting techniques.
Essentially, it takes a village to raise a child. Effective parenting skills will inevitably reflect this notion, as more people start learning to create solid networks of support for their kids. In this respect, society benefits from people helping one another. This notion helps society grow and, as it would appear, leads to effective parenting skills from one generation to the next.
The 7 Biggest Discipline Mistakes
June 3, 2008
So you’re trying to make your child quit bullying—or lying or cheating or defying you or “taking back”—and you’re having little success. You’ve tried threatening, scolding and even begging, but nothing seems to work. Frankly, you’re at your wit’s end. How can you ensure that your child stops his bad behavior for good? The first thing you must do is re-think your approach to discipline.
Behavior is learned, so it can be unlearned. Parents need a specific makeover plan designed to half their kids’ bad behavior. But before you can implement such a plan, you must first understand what you’re doing wrong—and why it’s wrong.
Common discipline mistakes:
1. Thinking “It’s just a phase.”
Bad behaviors don’t go away. They almost always need parental intervention. The longer parents wait, the more likely the behavior will become a habit. So don’t call it a phase: stop the bad behavior as soon as it starts.
2. Being a poor behavior model.
Our behavior has an enormous influence on our kids’ behavior. After all, what they see is what they copy. So before parents start planning to change their kid’s behavior, they need to take a serious look at their own.
3. Not targeting the bad behavior.
It’s best to work on improving only one—and never more than two—behaviors at a time. And the more specific the plan the better. Don’t say, “He’s not behaving.” Instead, narrow the focus to target the specific behavior you want to eliminate: “He’s talking back.” And makeover will be more successful.
4. No plan to stop the bad behavior.
Once parents have identified the bad behavior, they need a solid makeover plan to stop it. The plan must (1) address the kid’s bad behavior, (2) state exactly how to correct it, (3) identify the new behavior to replace it, and (4) have a set consequence if the bad behavior continues.
5. Not teaching a substitute behavior.
No behavior will change permanently unless the child is taught a new behavior to replace it. Think about it: if you tell a kid to stop doing one behavior, what will he do instead? Without a substitute behavior, chances are the child will revert to using the old misbehavior.
6. Going alone. Big mistake!
After all if your kid is using the bad behavior on other caregivers—be it spouse, grandparents, teachers, day care providers, coaches, scout leaders, babysitters—then use the same makeover plan together. The more you work together, the quicker you’ll be in stopping the problem behavior.
7. Not sticking to the plan long enough.
Learning new behavior habits generally takes a minimum of twenty–one days of repetition. Parents need to commit to changing the bad behavior and then continue using the plan for at least three weeks. Only then will they see change.
About Michele Borba
Michele Borba, Ed.D., is an internationally renowned educator and award-winning author who is recognized for her practical, solution-based strategies to strengthen child’s behavior, self-esteem, character, and social development, and to build strong families. A sought-after motivational speaker, she has presented workshops and keynote addresses throughout North American, Europe, Asia and the South Pacific and has served as an educational consultant to hundreds of schools, and organizations. Her proposal: “Ending School Violence and Student Bullying” (SB1667) was signed into California law in 2002. She offers realistic, research-based advice culled from a career of working with over one million parents and educators.
As a recognized expert on child development, violence prevention, and character development, Dr. Borba appears regularly as a guest expert on countless TV and radio talk shows to discuss late breaking news and the every day challenges parents face today. Appearances include the “Today” “The View,” “Fox & Friends,” “Countdown, MSNBC,” “The Early Show,” “Canada AM,” “NPR: Talk of the Nation,” “Ronn Owens/KGO Radio,” and “Focus on the Family.” She has been interviewed by numerous publications including Newsweek, U.S. News & World Report, Reader’s Digest, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, Better Homes & Garden, Parenting, and Child. Her article publications have appeared in Redbook, Parents, and Family Circle. She serves on Parents magazine’s honorary advisory board and an expert to ClubMom.
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